On work....

It's 11pm, I just got off work and I feel like I really want to post something. I have to be at work at 6:30am. Blech. This job is really starting to take its toll on me. I'm always tired and any second of time that I have off I find myself sleeping. Where is my life going?!

It's going to the kids. I have to remember that.

I've been reading Kahlil Gibran's "The Prophet" lately and finding myself jaw open in awe at the beauty of his wisdom. His words are like falling snowflakes, each more intricate and beautiful than the last. Let's see what he would say about work:

"Always you have been told that work is a curse and labour a misfortune. But I say to you that when you work you fulfil a part of earth's furthest dream, assigned to you when that dream was born, And in keeping yourself with labour you are in truth loving life, And to love life through labour is to be intimate with life's inmost secret.

You have been told also that life is darkness, and in your weariness you echo what was said by the weary. And I say that life is indeed darkness save when there is urge, and all urge is blind save when there is knowledge, and all knowledge is vain save when there is work, and all work is empty save when there is love; And when you work with love you bind yourself to yourself, and to one another, and to God.

And what is it to work with love?
It is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from you heart, even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth.
It is to build a house with affection, even as if your beloved were to dwell in that house.
It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap the harvest with joy, even as if your beloved were to eat the fruit.
It is to charge all things you fashion with a breath of your own spirit, and to know that all the blessed dead are standing about you and watching."

Wow, how does he do it? How with such beautifully sculpted words does he convey such deep truths? I love the part where he says in your weariness you echo what was said by the weary. I think I'm stuck in that right now. When I'm surrounded by others who are leaving Hillview because there commitment is up, it's to easy for me to desire to go as well. They leave beaten, tired, even dead. They leave to resurrect what was once their own life. It's been 7 months for me.....I'm still in for the long haul. I can't echo the weariness of others.

God, help me to work with love. Help me to rely on you when I'm stumbling in frustration and fatigue. I'm learning how impossible this job is without you.